Tired of Small Talk? Try some BIG Talk!

We live in challenging and complex times. No one knows THE answer, but everyone holds a piece of the answer. What excites you about sustainability?  What inspires you to action?  What holds you back from making the choices and changes you want to make?

Throughout each day of the Better Living Show, the Conversation Café, sponsored by Waste Management, will be hosting facilitated conversations as part of the second annual global celebration of Conversation Week 2008.  Conversation Cafe is an invitation to sit down for a couple of hours with friends, neighbors, and yes even strangers, to reflect, explore and share with others what matters to you about living better, sustainably. 

Each day the Conversation Café will consider a different question as the conversation starter—a question that was selected by over 1500 people in 39 countries as one of the 10 most important questions to talk about during Conversation Week 2008.  Our Conversation Cafés will be graphically recorded, creating a visual record of these conversations that matter to us and to our community, our voices captured all on the same page.

Friday's Question:  What does sustainability look like to you?  How do we get there?

Times: 12:30-2:30; 3:00-5:00; 5:30-7:30

Saturday's Question: What kind of economic structures and incentives can best support a shift to sustainable living?

Times: 11:30-1:30; 2:00-4:00; 4:30-6:30

Sunday's Question: How do we shift from “Me” to “We” on both the local and global levels?

Times: 11:30-1:30; 2:00-4:00

(more….)

Conversation Cafés are lively, hosted conversations among small groups of people with diverse views, but a shared passion for engaging with others. The structure makes it simple and safe to engage in these conversations.

Conversation Cafés provide a place to talk about important topics over a cup of coffee or tea. People of every philosophical and political perspective sit together around tables and steaming beverages to earnestly shift from small talk to BIG TALK. Everyone is welcome.  And anyone can come, just once or many times. There are no books to read, no assignments, and no dues (except a bite to eat at the café).

The Conversation Week 2008 questions serve as conversation starters…an invitation to a conversation that matters… a conversation that explores where participants’ sincere interests lie.  People are encouraged to speak from the heart, to listen with respect, to follow the thread of meaning and to have one of the best conversations of the year.

The simple Conversation Café Method provides a light structure that holds conversations so they can go deep. The structure consists of a Host, a set of Agreements, a Process, a Talking Object and Two Traditions.

The Host: The one who convenes people to make meaning together. If you can throw a party, you can host.

The Agreements: The “rules” that create the container for safe conversation. Open-mindedness. Acceptance. Curiosity. Discovery. Sincerity. Brevity.

The Process: The Conversation café process consists of 4 “Rounds”. Everyone has a chance to speak twice, then engage in an open lively conversation, ending with each having a final say.

The Talking Object: A tool for deep listening – as simple as a salt shaker – that’s held by the person speaking. It reminds listeners to consider what they hear without offering feedback or criticism, and reminds the speaker to be honest, yet brief. It passes from one person to the next until all who wish to speak have had the opportunity to do so.

The Two Traditions: Conversation Cafes serve food for hungry minds. The menu choices come from the heart of each participant. So the traditions are “No marketing” (no trying to sell anyone on anything) and “No committees will be formed” (no group “to do’s”).

Why Should I Talk to Strangers?

Sure, it's easier to watch TV. It's easier to keep your lips buttoned and stick to your routines. Sure, it's risky to talk to people you don't know. You have no idea how they will react. Sure it's hard to walk in to a public place, looking for people you don't recognize who might be really different from you. Sure, you might be smarter than everyone and be bored. Sure you might be less informed and be embarrassed.

Sure. Sure.

But your mind is such a beautiful thing. It would be a shame to waste it. Talk to strangers at a Conversation Café and you just might find people who…

• Listen intently to what you have to say
• Can laugh, question, and engage in friendly debate
• Help you see your own next steps more clearly
• Care—about you, each other, and the world

You don't have to be 'in the know.' You don't have to read a book. You don't have to join an organization. You don't even have to think up a good opening line. Skilled hosts lead you through a simple process that helps you shift from small talk to BIG talk and discover the magic of great conversation. No committees will be formed.

What difference will it make if I talk to strangers?

Normally Americans seem strangely reluctant to talk about things that matter with people they don't know. Walk into a café and you'll see one person per table. Other countries have lively cultures of conversation — and thus are better able as a people to know what they think. Here we rely on the commercial media and poorly constructed polls to tell us what's on our minds and in our hearts.

Talking with one another could be the most radical and healing act we do. At times of crisis—like now, since September 11, 2001—we DO want to connect with each other. Strangers everywhere ARE talking. It's only habit and custom that keep us apart, not a natural disinterest or fear. Perhaps, in the process of listening and conversing, we'll open our minds a bit. Maybe even change them. And that's healthy. We need an engaged populace in a robust, sustained, reasonable process of learning to safely make it through this time.